I’ve been spending a lot of time alone recently. It’s not out of the norm for me but I guess I’ve just noticed it more since living by myself.
This weekend I did exactly what I said I was going to do last week in this post: HERE. I spent a lot of time in thrift stores, woke up early on Sunday to shoot photos, and watched the Olympics whenever I could. Despite the fact that I hardly talked to anyone all weekend (#recluse) I still had a wonderful time by myself. I finished the book I was reading. I rode my bike to the park despite 100% humidity. I drank way too much tea as I watched the numerous thunderstorms out my window.
For the past few months I haven’t been in a great place because everyone (and I mean everyone) I know is in a very serious, committed relationship. I wondered what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I have that? How did everyone else find someone so early on in life? I was frustrated because hanging out with a couple can be so draining if you’re single, to be honest. But then I realized I was thinking about this in the wrong way. Single Lee can do whatever she wants. I’m independent. I can be in the company of just myself and be okay.
I think one of the reasons it’s been hard is because I’m not really meeting many new people – at least new people I can hang out with on the regular. I look back at some of my recent travels (okay seven months ago!) and I really connected with other people in hostels. It made me feel good because I was at a point where I needed to remember I could be the person who makes friends with ease even if I only met them for a few days.
But it’s okay that I’m not that social right now. I’m doing things I enjoy, I have a job I like, and I now have an apartment that is all mine. I was very inspired by my friend Alice’s latest video (HERE) about needing to live in the moment. It was somewhat of a wakeup call. I needed to do that too – desperately. I kept daydreaming about moving to Europe in the coming years but right now I really need to focus on where I am now. Okay, I don’t like my city that much but I don’t know how long I’ll be here. I like my apartment and I like the park I can now bike to. I like the thrift stores I frequent and I like biking through my new neighborhood. I need to stop focusing so much on the future and focus on what’s happening in my life right now.
Dress: Urban Oufitters (old)
So I’m not really sure the point of this rambling post but I just thought I’d say that it’s okay if you’re feeling alone. It’s not all bad. We can get through it!
Please let me know what you think of this post! It's one of my favorites I've ever done.